Guys, I know that bad moods and bad days are going to happen, no matter what, but they shouldn’t happen every day.
I have depression, so I know what it is like to wake up and let bad things ruin your whole day. You know, when you start your Keurig up….without a cup under it. Then you can’t find your keys. Then you get stuck behind bad drivers the whole way to work. The baby didn’t sleep last night, so you are tired anyway.
I get it. shit sucks sometimes.
BUT you CAN turn your day around.
You CAN boost your mood, all on your own.
Depression is a constant battle in your mind. You have to fight with yourself, for yourself though. Medication only helps so much.
I have struggled with depression since I was about 10. I had allot of shitty things happen that kind of took me down. But I am a damn fighter. Throughout the years I had tried all different kinds of medications and what not, with no success. One day, I just woke up and was like, you know what? I don’t like this. This is not who I am. This is not who I want to be. No one can fix this for me, and no one is bothering to even try to help. I am going to start fighting for myself. So, that is when I started looking for things that boosted my mood, and keeping track of them. When I started getting depressed and started shutting myself off from the world again, I would pull out my list, and start doing things to get a quick mood boost. Now days, I can manage my depression on my own completely, without medication. I know, this may not work for everyone, but I also know that if I can do it, ANYONE can do it. So, here are the things that can help boost your mood, and get you out of the dark.
- Give yourself a pep talk….every morning
Yea, kind of cheesy, you are right. BUT, you are the only one that knows where you are in life, and what you want.
Wake up, every stinking morning and ask yourself these things
What good things do I have in my life now?
What things do I want?
How am I going to get them if I dont have them?
What do I have to look forward to today? Tomorrow? This week?
If you don’t have something to look forward to, make something. Promise yourself that if you get out of bed, and go to work or do what you need to do, that you will buy yourself your favorite coffee, or ice cream, or any kind of little treat.
Plan a trip to your favorite store at the end of the week, and then wake up every morning and think about that trip. It will give you a reason to fight through every day.
The trick here is to not let depression tell you how your day is going to be, you have to put depression in its place, and tell IT what kind of day you are going to have.
I wake up every morning and think about everything that I have, and how I started with nothing, and now I am here.”If I can get this far, imagine how much further I can go”
Then, I get out of bed, and I kick the days ass. I give it all I have.
- Look around you
So, one thing I have noticed with depression is that you shut off the world around you. You live in your own head. Your own thoughts consume you. You see everything in black and white and not for the beautiful, colorful, wonderful things that they really are.
I know, easy for you to say, right?
WRONG! Stop what you are doing right now, and look around you. Look out the window.
How blue is that sky? What do the clouds look like today? How fast are they moving? Watch the birds. Listen to them. Where are they going? The trees. Oh gosh, look at those trees, there are so many different kinds. They go through changes, kind of like us. They shed their leaves every year, and then get new ones. Why can’t we do that? Once a year, think about all of the negative things in your life, all the things you want to change…then loose it all…and pick up new?
Okay, so you see what I did there? I got lost in everything around me. Found the beauty in things that I normally see every day, and don’t think twice about. I quit seeing everything as black and white, and started seeing the beauty in it. It is something that is SOOO hard to do with depression, because you are just so down, that all you see is the bad in everything. Just remember, do not let the depression define you. You DO like things, and you DON’T want to feel like this. So, go out and MAKE yourself slow down take it all in.
- Make a playlist
Listening to music is a great outlet. It is a quick way to boost your mood…as long as you are not listening to some sad country “crying in my beer” song. You know, the ones where the dudes wife leaves him, his dog runs away, mama gets hit by the damned old train.
But, with all seriousness, make a playlist. Put songs that you LOVE that get you wanting to dance, bounce, sway and sing, on it. Make an old fashioned burnt CD out of it, like we did back in the early 2000’s. Put it in your car, and listen to it when you are down. Listen to it on your way to work. Listen to it, just because.
Music has always been my way of dealing with things.
If I am mad, I listen to metal (let someone else scream, so I don’t have to). When I am depressed or down, I love listening to rock music. There are SOOOO many songs that are about being down, and depressed and for some reason, it helps me to feel that I am not alone. I actually listen to a very wider variety of music for many different reasons. I love a good upbeat country song. Makes you want to buy a farm, put on a pair of overalls and learn to square dance. (playlists coming soon)
- Take care of yourself
When I am having a day, where depression has taken over, I feel really down on myself. My self confidence is in the toilet. When I start feeling like that I try to do things for myself, that boost my confidence. For me, its things like:
A long shower
Curling my hair
Painting my nails
Buying a new outfit, or creating a new one out of things i already have
Self care for me, is a biggie, but so simple.
When you feel good about yourself, it shows
- Pray (Or reflect)
I believe praying was the thing that really got me through depression.
Depression really hit me when my mom died.I didn’t have many friends. I was alone….or so I thought. I prayed every day. Through tears, through thoughts of suicide, I prayed. I asked god the tough questions. Why am I alone? Do I deserve this? Why have I been abandoned? Why me? I asked him to help me out of it. To bring me people who were like me. Who liked me for who I am. I asked him at times, to help me change who I am. At first, I couldn’t see him working in my life, but he was. When he is quiet, and you do not see results, he is working behind the scenes. Guys, I can’t say this enough.
HE CAN, AND WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. I was on a dark path, I got a job and started making new friends. I met my husband….after of course, a few heart breaks. When another person would walk out of my life, I would ask god, “why?” “Why are people leaving me” and you wanna know why? Because he had better people for me. He put people in my life that I would have not found on my own, because they were not people I would have ever thought to stop and look at twice. My husband is one of those people. With God, you have someone to talk to, when you feel like you are completely alone.
For those of you who aren’t religious, I can see where self reflection could have the same effect.
Talk to yourself In your mind. Talk yourself through it all. Think of the good things, the good times, and push through the bad. Think of the big picture. What do you want out of life? Work towards it. People seem to run away from people with depression. People who are always down. It leaves you feeling alone, when you need someone the most. Even more of a reason to fight yourself out of it, and start attracting people that you want to be with. Change your way of thinking. If the people you have around you are not what you want, or strive to be like, change that.
You are only as good as the company you keep.
People have a strange way of rubbing off on you. Sometimes it is better to be alone, while you are waiting to find good people, than to be with people who are doing, and living in ways that you do not want to live. I have been in that boat before.
- Find Ways to Laugh
I LOVE to laugh.
While I was battling depression the most (I am always battling) I had the hardest time finding humor in things. I had to really go looking for it. But, I was committed to fighting this, so, off I went looking hard to find ways to laugh again. Some of my favorite things, that really worked were funny videos. America’s Funniest Home Videos was good, but man, I really love watching fails on youtube. Trampoline accidents, people falling on treadmills, parkour gone wrong. Wow. I would laugh like a hyena. Everyone has different things that make them laugh, and I am sure youtube has them. So, go on, watch some cats and cucumbers videos.
- Find a hobby
My whole life I was never really into sports, or instruments, or accademics. I just kind of hung out and did whatever. So i didn’t really KNOW what I liked to do. I listened to music and played games, but I didn’t really have any hobbies.
When I moved out on my own, I would get bored, So I would go to parties and drink.
Not a good hobby.
I started really hating that person that I was. I knew I needed to find other ways of using my time. So, I started checking things out, and trying things. I would go to the library and check out books. Found out that I love reading. I browsed pinterest and found crafts that looked fun and tried them. Ended up finding a few that I really liked. But, the game really changed when I moved to the country. I found animals, and gardening. Now, animals are good for sooo many things. They are good for entertainment, they require some work to care for them, they take your mind off of other things (It’s hard to think about things that might get you down, when you are shoveling shit), and they are just great companions. I found out that I like animals WAY better than I like humans. The chickens are like little dinosaurs. I love just watching them run around the yard. Kind of funny when they don’t have 4 legs, and don’t have arms or hands either.
If you can’t have animals, you can always go visit zoos, pounds, and humane societies.
Hobbies really help you relax and ease your mind. Its nice to have an escape, and there are SO many options out there. Take some classes, take a trip, go looking for things that interest you and do it!
The other day I was walking through my house, and something caught my eye. It was a pink room filled with all of the things I love, that I never thought would be possible. I heard voices that brought so much joy to my life, and warmed my heart. It was my husband and daughters. He was sitting on my oldest girls bed, with her on one leg, and the baby on the other. He was reading to them. One was asking questions, the other was cooing with excitement.
These are the things that I would have gave up if I would have kept down the path I was on.
These things that were so hard to see through the black and white glasses that I had on with depression. These are the things that my heart yearned for when I was in high school, when it seemed as if I would never find my someone.
Guys, what I am getting at is, it will get better.
The things that you want are possible, even when they don’t seem like it. It may be a bumpy road, but you will get to where you are going eventually. When you do, you will look back and realize that all of your battles were worth it, and that in some crazy way, they helped you, rather than hurt you.
Back when I was in depression really bad it was hard to look towards the future, because the time I was in was so bad, that was all I could see. I let my bad times rule my life, and cloud my future. I went through times where I thought suicide was my only option. It would just end my suffering. It would have, but it would have brought on suffering for other people. People I didn’t even knew cared about me. Depression has this ugly way of making it seem like people don’t care, when they do. Like you are all alone, but you aren’t. Truth is, there are allot of people out there, just like you. And those of us who have fought it off, would love to be there for you and help you. We all just want to be loved, accepted, and understood. I am here for you.
My goal is to use this blog, to help reach out, and empower people
I am even debating on starting a Facebook group for people with depression. Somewhere where we can all go to chat and help each other through our battles. When I get that far, I will come back and update you. I am also new to the whole blogging game, so I am working on the whole email and subscribe deal. I will also update you all when I have an email set up. Once I do, feel free to email me with questions, or even just to chat if you need a friend. Stay tuned for more posts about depression, postpartum depression, anxiety, chickens, and well, all of the other craziness I can come up with.